Long tail confrontations

It's different this time, this form felt more familiar to me.

Long tail distribution that I'm walking along, the capital M appears for yet another dialogue, with a little groan of my tired steps I try to reply to it. With its eyes piercing and striking me awake.

"What are you doing?" It raised its brow.

"Create fan art, ship it. Try to get attention, increase engagement, then try to raise that artificial number to help the advertiser increase his return. Rather than work on personal projects." I said

Or, what I felt like some part of me was saying.

"What about your comic project? Are you hiding from it."

My mouth gruntled.

"Maybe."

"Well how do I don't know that you may be doing the wrong thing pursuing this line of endless gift art, social grooming art is social grooming to get other's people's attention, to fuel addiction, yet what about a piece of art that will help turn on their lights?"

"But I'll be ignored, the numbers will get to me, I'm so F****** loney, yet if they don't pay attention to my live-streaming and waste all my time in their chat rooms like in several years. Then I'm the product, I'm a means to an end for a social media executive to brag to shareholders.” My voice was covering my bitter melencholy.

No chuckle or smile came from the capital M hollow entity.

"Now shush, my child. You know what to do **** *****, you're a good decider of your finite time and resources. If you sit down and do your work professionally, at least you're getting some work done. Even if it's social media grooming art, it's still an articulation."

It continues.

"These illustrations show that your willing to not put your eggs. Multi sized projects that let you keep playing the game-

"Yet it's not really art, ain't it?" I interupt, my doubts raising.

"That's for you to decide, nobody knows anything here, do what you want Goodbye." The M said With that and blurs static. It tuned out.

I'm left to entertain emptiness again. Wondering if the time I spent was worth it.