Maybe i don't wanna be body

Being nothing but an intimidating lug for Castella's play palace. I see an anorexic version of myself.

Do I even want to find this erotization as it finds me? Intoxication and the lack of edge cannot be undone, as this paradox is something of benefits. Theo and Castella.

Pure body of bodyguard and a body merchant. From the lifting of the Bricksters, brought muscle to a gun fight. My literary ambition too cartoonish. An opportunity of sythnmeat to their design. The only thing I have through this is a clarity of mind through this ceaseless interruption in my quarter.

Oh, back to my quarters.

Theo's honest rules of clerksmanship

He's written it down, as he slumbers.

Working with the epistemological limits, a mindless antibiotic marketing body of work that is no more a clerk. A clerk who's built the industrial revolution. Faster and cheaper for tomorrow.

Some professions are intrinsically hackneyed: the fast food server of a franchised turnkey, the mass entertainer pin up artist, the pornographer, the shameless upstager, fan service and the copywriter. All serving the keys jangler.

As they've become producers.

Honest hacksmenship must remain with its dignity, or it becomes a grift. One can't make a friend out of the hack, only the benefit of the project they make.

When ambulance chasing the next cargo cult for their next flick, one understands they are hierarchical with the numbers game. What is this project for? The contribution toward the smallest viable audience. (Kevin Kelly 1000 true fan model) or for the benefit of the social media advertisers who are paying for the server costs?

Authenticity ain't it, the impression of verisimilitude and consistency matters. We dip into the lake of professionalism, then return for the short term. The only thing we ask for is dignity. Programming the animosity of tomorrow.

To ignore the illiteracy that is a true sin.

Upstaging Theo

Since I'm dealing with business opportunity and not art with attention, its only fitting that mindless upstaging is encouraged. Even authenticity is a humblebrag, nothing is innocent, I'm putting the business model on its sleeve. Intrinsic remarkability and its plastic sheen.

Don't you dare upstage me, like last time. It's my job now. The M**** shot is the most important and the most worthless thing in the world now. (is that what Kyro said?) Which side is this connection on?

Innocent sweet untruths my time is here. As it's time to be an honest clerk.

Theo's Attraction

Heroic masculinity, supererogation in its bulk. With the desire to bring out the desire of strength that can taste so toxic, yet I'm willingly willing to drink, potty mouth as it's taken.

Gulp, how it's irresistible. I shall not fantasize about Kyro any further as he cleans my dirty dishes of this matter.

Such a humble job unlike mine where I have to deliver promises to the public as being an entertainer. Of these sweet little untruths of me and my sect, and mutuals. From that lake of psalms towards what was offered by Castelle.

Why can't it be with the ditch digger.

43.25 minute documentary of masculine exploration.

Stuck in the contradiction of appeal

Omnipresence ends the moment the rules of the boundary of what is written is drawn.

Ouch ouch, do the ID and superego fight. You can't help it. There we go.

Should you be spending more time in your own ideas and writing rather than social media grooming again, that's my job. I'm the social media groomer who does the response rates, the memes, the social media advertisements. All that, the embodiment of everything you and your artistry does not want to think about when navigating in this commercial quicksand.

Driven by our clownish impulses, we are not meant to be saved, we are the ones that are to bring the entire building down to the ground with what is demanded with our bodies.

Twist and distorted, it don't matter. It's ours for the taking for the showing of a lifetime. Let's see if this prayer you have will save you now. A calling where the dignity is within a Leper's hideout. We are deluded on the grandeur of godhood, all within a little box.

Sexual taste dysmorphia, you have it now. Algorism of a body part to star, so simple and not satisfaction.

The first fix hedonic treadmill

Hedonic treadmills it's become a kink of itself how we drive ourselves to fall off it into mindless juvenilnation. They've made it a free for all when it comes to all types of oddities of adult entertainment.

Physical harm, well that's a utilitarian argument. With a lab jockey dazed and out of its mind with that fix. The prayer is supposed to balance the commercialism with what is fulfilling.

All play and no prayer makes Theo a very dull dog.

All play and no prayer makes Theo a very dull dog.

All play and no prayer makes Theo a very dull dog.

Am I good savior yet?

Georges Ears

Gestural drawing of George grabbing his ears at two in the morning.

Those ears are a sweet spot. Sweet canal stems from where I grasp and squash down intrusive thoughts. I'm pulling them out, any placebo will do. To put away with all these panic attacks that pull me in different directions. It's used to cope with a single stead stream of saneness that drags long with my clubbed finger pads.

Ahh- ahhh.

There goes the panic attack, into the recesses of my subconsciousness as it retreats into another land. Freudian coming to bear witness with my nervousness swallowed down, a disgusting rock of stubbornness crags its way.

I, I hope this ain't going to become a habit.

Danny's getaway

Practised my head maquette, I'm going to draw these characters a lot.

All these social anxieties are turning against me, The swirling promise Jaime made with all these gigs, now I'm into the abysmal centre of it. It's all these goods with these gigs. It's not that it what's in front of me.

There are several weapons stacked with magical artefacts stocked on the back, along with the files of the projects of the Brick Coalition's operations. Grunge jobs, grunge jobs that can't compare to the gruel of breakfast.

I pass many lanes of modern Georgian housing of suburban countryfied. There are no vehicles that are watching, ain't they? Oh, by the pond, George is on my mind, no!

Not this madness again.

Kyro's Job

Another duty for the high and mighty weirdo, weird'n aloof, as he takes his way of being an inquisitive dog. One hiding might that almost makes me growl.

This errand feels like a game now, he's gamified it, hasn't he? That rascal, that poshy toshy. Tha-

Ah, I'm at the sight now, no hidden surprise at the river station. Good, none of them will show up. I feel my health, I feel my rage, this power I've got now as these thugs have noticed that I'm cleaning after Theo's messes, what a doozy. I'm the bodyguard, the brute, the thug lifing Theo's after payments and regrets.

Swinging the shield for the threat of disarmament and to reclaim what's Theo little mistake. Electricity tingles as the fists elbows do the disarming, knocking out the lackeys that with minimal alarm.

Easy errand, easy day. With not a scratch, they didn't bring any golem disarmament.

Fake video games, horror and creepy themes. 1:55 hours. You're right, videogames have a influence. I've even done these sketches as part of the idea.

Kyro the can

Do I do to drown these Sorrows, it is all that I do today. Alcoholic anonymous? Who needs that when I've got the desire to drown in the intoxication, an intoxication that this body cannot feel as that wet slime trickles down.

Sick of pervs. The dirt of Theo creeps into me like the little cracks of this organic metal I breathe in, polished synth rubber and the skin-plastic bristle at his predatory gaze.

I'm away, yet at what cost? Is it worth it for me to be away from him when his orders art that of one's to give into?

None of it matters, the cans empty as I go ahead. Like its a f***** thug life of angry fools, mad at the desire to express himself as he's dragged down.

Tear Apart Kyro

 
That naughty aristocrat has a clean mouth, yet his sexual innuendo makes him look like paparazzi at the rugby team's locker room. I'd be not surprised if he did that.

As these mindless meditations come together, so does sleep.

There comes the dream again. Castella says this feels like the true form, yet it's only another form. I don't know what's true from my human and my true form. Invisible hooks tend to pull at the moments going. Going to be breakdown of everything.

Can't think any more, my thoughts scattered as they've reached a status as my every part of me. I'm flickering out and back in again as my being is in pieces of that dream, It's almost terrifying at first, yet then I come to as parts come again.

It's stressful, yet something as to take off the stress. I don't know what's causing it. I'm brought out of the slumber.

Theo's Divorce papers

 It stands within the attic of had the holding papers of previous, several months ago. Annice could not hold his candle.

It was that date with the pier of his excommunication as an apostate of the faith, which he separated within protestantism, and within the entertainment industry that Castelle offered. He had become something else, he does not want to be reminded right now. Not forever. Now since temptation is now part what is a slurry of lifestyle positivity.

Two corners of a mouth upwards for what is a positivity totem within his new role of patriarch of his life. He does not mind if his church of amusement is there now. Trying to separate his rhetoric with exposition of holy concepts to the fold.

Interpretations of the bibble are funky. It's a shame things have to be this way.

kyros frustration and Blender WIPS

"Comatose banality are the thoughts that come over me when I think of the dream. Between humanity and an artifice of arousal.

Arousing the slumbers of things that retreat into the night. After the dark, after the sobering days today. When it's remembered, I feel like I'm being torn apart then put back together again.

What is it like, to fulfil a million instructions and orders like you're nothing. To be pulled apart then put together like a toy car. This skull and human feeling is the only thing I have left with the artifices left by Castella.

What a fuggin life."

Me blending it up to make a head model 

This is what peak figure-it-the-fug-out looks like. Grant About and Bran Sculpts.

Standardized models to draw from, I've yet to learn retopoligize. It's a start though. 

Little excesses for Kyro

Resting on his bike.

I can't believe him, yeah, that top–plonker. What's going in his scene little mind when he's giving me orders to deal his dirty work. Am I meant to be a caricature of service?

Is this the sinecure of his kinks and excesses that he forever wanted? Is that a lifestyle merely a matter of taste for his ways of work, and his excuses. Of an anguished face and pain of keeping the peace up with his own little excuses.

Excuses and excuses, stuff that he's hiding from Asheal, did he do something with his back and inability that made him that way? Wheel-chair bound to a service of him becoming a hair of this sex-positive worship of product, product of addicted satisfaction and dopamine hits for lab-rats.

lab-rats that will snuff themselves out if they have to.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, especially Castella's golden gloved mittens.

Kyro's Cleanup

Cleaning his gloves.

 

Why do I have to clean all of Theo's messes.

Spoiled? Bratty? Castelle really has done him a favour by exhibiting his worst qualities ever since that incident, how we can't control himself in front of men now. It's like I'm seeing the real him.

Now here i am, cleaning the grime of my knuckles. Him doing another sloppy deal. It's the crud, gristle of what this thuggish body can do now.

This is all a thug's duty, a vendor's duty of fist and knuckle served like soda cans. I'm taking a needy dog for a walk that will provide a 'payment' as you will, something that will keep my life on a leash. Something about me is keeping his little mature act up with the people, the lid of his madness.

So spare me when he go to **** himself.

The mind of many minds

Gabrielle's De Rico's book had something regarding character development, regardless of how unintentional. It's the treatment of the mind as many minds of conflicting voices. The development of dialogical and multilogical voices that chant and ricochet out, onto the page of expression.

These creations are a gushing of what came before, designs into a signed taxonomy of category do they fall from such little brain branches. Then through such an inception the solution that was laid before me.

This a nuanced me, more separated with conflicts, consistency, and tensions. With polarity circling as with the interests, bring together new character moments.

New character moments that I'm addicted to bring into storytelling scenes. It's inevitable that some of these ideas are going to be cruft, yet that's how creativity flourishes.

Endeavours that branch off to find what's worth posting. This is the A priori uncovering, that's what happens with the crossword. 

Kyro's aversion

What an edge case, an edge case that ain't so the f***er seems unique I think the point at this stage of banality, no.

Ab tested stuff will always go to the edge of what's acceptable to draw views, and he's going that way to reach the maximality that never really is the case.

How thirsty is it, that he will go.

Confusing remarkability with serving the sicko desires of the world. Uncrated rubbish tips over the edge within this auction environment. Where each and every kink is catered to. Is it kinking down or up? Is there any niche interest? All a spurt of dopamine, not with my own chasteness being untouched.

Trashy banality of condescending, undiscerning rot. Seedy as it is, It's Theo's business.

Kinkshaming? Grrth, A/b test shaming more like it.

Disenchanted Theo

Do you think it's fun to be turned into a show business product? I don't feel any noise in my head now, not that it matters. You do what you have to get a seat at the table.

I checked the pedestal pews I check the television all the recording equipment has changed my entire sermon, or service.

This is what is required, I'm totally it dictated to the show metrics now, and it's my business to do it, do it all. What do they expect for a guy who had to think like a producer with every show now. Not like a organizer or builder of a community.

This is what they want.

Thank you so much for giving me the Brickenshire treatement that I deserve.

Kyro's reading journey

What's this pride and prejudice.

So many new fangled concepts of timey wimey era that, even with my posture, Theo said that literacy is good for the soul. An hour of my time from all this bodyguarding.

This what a dignitary does, treats his master with the gruel work and mental enlightenment. It's the pride of the craft he does to maintain his dignity that he's paid to serve. Even if I'd love to open the doors inside me to be a more sophisticated servant, the dictionary on my smartphone can't provide me with the answers. Serviceability, service... no.

All a dream, Theo

What did field dream about what made him leave that mess be his bedroom desk, he had missed the waste basket! The convulsions got to him to miss, something so disgusting yet oddly enough something deep inside him felt like it was a just punishment right.

His last evening's meal desecrate was there, and he could have look into that for so much long normally he was in so squeamish to this so he left.

"On what abomination did I imagine him like that?"

A dismay of the carpet from what came to a fading vision. Questions with no answers. All surrounding Kyro to be that form to see him that way, that was the question that pierced his mind.

A fantasy Butler made to fit his specifications granted by the gift of Castella's Grace was not something that he could imagine to this day, he had called his other servant to clean this. Not his other servant, too many tensions as it is.

The high missionary that will proselytize for the righteous are not meant to be in such a state anyhow, or a those that who claim to be. The shameless boundaries of Internet clout must be getting to his head, his tail wags for a moment.