Another Hernia Scar

like that? Yeah, like that.

There's a diamond scar where I accidentally pulled a scab with surgical tape, yet its not the worst thing.

 

Reflection on knowledge rant

The Gish gallop, of the spectacle, and the reverse gish gallop.

Yet now, with all these moralisations and the elitism and the ideas with

it now, it's become apparent that I've made a professional risk. Not like Beep_boop took my job, or that I had one.

I did it because it was fun, this ain't going to get any points. Yet the 'left' and critcal theory. Of a polemic that drives an epistemological scrutiny. Social media overlapping it. I don't want to take any of it back.

This revised ranty essay along with it's reading list on the AI denial cottage industry. Is exhausting, commoditys of denial, and other ways that lead to believe. That it's a thing that I have to let the crud happen. Let the crud hit the fan as I must attend other duties.

 Yet america factionalism loves it's teams and gish gallops, and I'm done.

Can still not stop editing it, by this time this posts though, I'll be done and continuing with my artistic endeavours.

The feeling when they're not ready for the amount of sociological research

I've done can't be comprehended into a single dunk tweet, and I dare not

interrupt the anger within micro blogs.

It's merely too BIG i can't fit it in, such aliteral mobs
harrasmenet to handle such a complexity.

Reflecting on this, can only say it was worth it. It's the most iconclastic thing I've

ever done, and it's spirit of Harlen Ellison's rant within his Glass Teat.

He's gone now.

ah, Symbolic capital, and the structural things

are reversed now, as 1Dime points out.

That now I'm apathatic of, with that case since the divide is the ethics with all that.

Is trying to put out of a fire of bad ideas before it's too late as it goes with the the way of vaccine denial. Along with other bad ideas that have spread like wildfire.

Yet wildfires are wildfires. Critism becomes commodified and incentivised

by the pervese incentives of online media, and there you, Forever.

40+ rewrites and illustrations of doodle-core and my other more serious expression.

it's an attempt to apply serious sociology to it all with all that I know from bad historgraphy, and with althurssrian sociology, I've been trying to make it out.

It's so exhausting, is this what white-collar work feels like? Is this what working in an office feels like? I'm so tired from trying to catch up with the Americas day and night work as I'm blown towards it's spectacle.

This is me alternative opinion of you, as a citizen, to bring in thought to rewrite.

Roleplaying as a couch golem – OF COURSE i'm obsessed with AI affects, the miserablist/doomer/boomer and the industries intertwines outside. I'm going to have to go rogue.

Since it's not a scam, and it's a logic that's made me annoyed that I have to deal with the pestering of insufferablility of bsky discourse I've tried to avoid, I'm glad i'm out.

Wanted to do something different that porn as they say. 

Thank you for all your understanding.

Yes Seth, you do know it.

Done. (until it's adapted away from the micro blog

discourse.)

Oh no, I did'nt use beep boop for that

 I merely expressed deontic relational intelligence.

Real good ai btw despite by vigourous

research. I'll reach out.

Becoming sex ambivalent

 

Since the recollection of traumas and the labour of sexual gratification is all a mere roteness of drudgery act of the day, despite the pleasure principle of the faugue state it brings, my sexual pleasures aren't that special. It's nobodys business, as I've argued with with the sex work book.

Yet.

It's like I've been here before with my sexual expression, as if it's a think to become something to curate within a sexual perfectionism. Such kinkology could of become a trap to find a way down into monkey-see, monkey-do.

The moment one develops interests from it. Or not a vote for abstinence or something against porn. I don't want to be an entire idenity.

So, this is a foundherent acknowledgment, of the completeness of the bad and good of my body's sexual expression with how that relates to the mental labor, with all that intwined into the mesh of the relation of our desires.

(Edit, called it sex work book. My bad. Apologies who misinterpreted. Bad direct response.)

Grandads death bed

May day landscape has been delayed.

Hearing beeps and a guant face. I had to go since all other family members are going to gigs.

Beep, beep, beep. Of the Christian hospice. mRNA vaccine for pancreatic camcer came too late, despite the good news.

Is it the brief movements and visits of the nurse, along with wheezing coughs.

With that I'm forced to think of death again.

It happens with that of injury, with personal coping mechanisms to that of a sociological kind of the pointless bipartisan issue of beep-boop. 

I told og my character in my auto-fiction which i can't expend labor on since it timr can never wait, with the presentism that im brought to thought of bring,  Can only write or doodle on a android app.

He's barely concious, as with not having to be selfish as he rests like that. Ignoring that numb pain of my groin.

A line of reassurances as im brought to philosophise about death again. Despit the indeterminancy of our births and class, we are meant to being community despite tbe vulgar perverse incentives of mob rule, I'm brought to understand that with my respect to that indeterminancy. That sweet dream my grandad is feeling will come in peacefully, despite all projected conflicts. Then is comes with reinterpretation and re interpolation, to a recursive coherentism of cosiliance of what can be left the end mark of life.

Agonizing as I'm brought telling my monist ontology (not reductive) to him how materials live on through my ideological actions. Then at that point, with the ascension of our dilectical approach to the masses, better or worst. Its a try. Oh yeah, I'm dualist again, thinking about how it all goes back.

Yet what of the life-death valence?

"You will live on with the material impressions with which I draw Theo."

"You will join Grandma soon, in her garden."

Mixture of sobs, then with mine being too stoic as nurses come around. With tubes of milk and food coming in.

Then I'm brought to rest two hours on a sofa couch, stuffed with stuffed mushrooms as the time is reminded.

Songs of a grand time reflect of sisters when they know coils and the chrono circle reaches completion.

Infinite Sunshine 🛋👩‍❤️‍👩🛌💤

Yesterday of this memoir, he is gone.

Surgery survival

hopefully this is abstract enough to be explicit, doll-like anatomy.

This presumes that the physicians of the governmental health service went swimmingly.

I made it, heres some photographs

Before

After

6 week of not lifting, 2 weeks for surgery shower-proof scar to come off, 2 days for that padded bandage to come off. Feels like some meshed webbing with painkillers.

Now I have a mesh that could be how my knowledge and foundherentism epistemology made manifest via the physician.

Bandages and socks I had to wear when I go.

That time I spent 1000 quid on league of legends.

The need for social approval to be conventional. Attention can do embarrassing things, only if there is an outside force to apply that embarrassment, and since there's no subject to tell you otherwise, the interpellation with the Skinner box of MOBA and the short loops and feedback loops of being preyed on with autistic obsessiveness, not with improvement, only churn a status profit for a company that did not care about me as much as a heavy user.

Then the dull amount of it comes, such a pattern of seeing freedom and its burden. So I'm going to go out with it, with that game, with its community, with the figurines of fantasy of Miss Fortune that I had to stick back together with glue and Fizzlesticks. Collectibles that aren't those silly Funko Pops.

Funkos! Urgh.

It's all gone down the drain; I wanted to connect, to connect with a small rush of solo-mid, and it's still one of the thousand of times that felt like a dronish job. Thank you Interest.

Surgery Hernia day

If I get complications 1-100 and pass.

Donate all my IP into the public domain

I'll ask the guardian about subscriptions.

All my sentiments from my inguinal hernia are different.

The discovery of eliminative physicalism/materialism and the idealistic mindset and How it connects with crunch/hustle culture has been fun. Reductio ad absurdam

The writing and revising of my foundherent beleifs has been valuable. It's so I don't exist as a drone.

I've got some down the pipeline too.

Finding Uniqunamosaurus vid on NFT was a discovery.

Libido, the most mediocre impulse

This is the impulse

now return and do a style/mind of abstract reconfigure: illustrate level up, level down, level right, level right leve-

Yeah, sex work, or prostitution, will not go away with no whining or complaining, and the egg-shell walking won't go away – supplier/vendor complaints.

So now I can't commit to creativity because it's nondeterministic performance, and I'm feeling for something that I can't escape from for all the mediocre porn I consumed and replicated to the asinine addiction. That grate of a twee licentiousness that was commodified and recuperated within, again and again.

Instead of friends, it's buzzworded positivity and pretension of hustles of average. I'm not average; I'm the exception.

Or so I think. I'm only an entertainer; the show drags on. "There will always be a demand in industry for product" So sayeth, Harlen Ellison. 🛋💥🤡 So I go back from exceptional elitism to common sell-out.

Surgery prep, placebo time

Its going to get worse if I don't get this, and there's a chance that I'll be bedbound, and a 100 to 1 chance of complications. There may be a hose to draw out excess fluids; there will be at 7:30, where I'll inhale funny gas while getting that feeling of having half my guts slipping down my scrotum out of me. Along with the weird knots.

2 weeks of not exercising.

Do not want an artery cut and then bleed out. Yet this one is a professional. I'll be gowned and sleep and then wake up, right? Sleep and wake. Wake up with my guardian beside me.

Had this with the back teeth out, lower back teeth. 10 years it's been in and last year it was discovered.

Alan Thrall had a video on it; that cooled me.

Had to pull it back in with knots back on Friday. Sometimes it feels like metal brambles, sometimes it feels like a iron rod.

An egoism of memoirs ; Grandad's last visit

Reflections of the self: Grandad on a deathbed, something I won't upload on an LLM. To what I admit, as I like to eliminate myself in service of a community of an iteration of practice of the present times, I know it isn't everything.

Cheesy, corny parts of a life placed here are all flavour text for my more important articulations

They gave a history of his life. Here's this quote I got on a text message.

"Grandad grew up on a farm; your great-grandad was a pig farmer. He would take Grandad to the agricultural fairs in the farm truck which had Olders Farm on the side of it. He would enter his prize pigs. The most famous of which was called 'Bournes Green Maple the third'. A photo of the pig was behind his desk in his office. 

Grandad's 1st job was ________, and he had a big cart he would collect the pig muck on and sell it for fertiliser. Another job he had was human scarecrow ... he had to stand in a field and shoot the birds as they came to eat the crops. 

Grandad then went in the __________ for national service and spent 3 years in _______ operating a radar. He then went to agricultural college, where he met Granny.

He worked as a teacher and worked training farm labourers to do stuff on farms , then he married Granny and they worked in ________ , and did agricultural training with the people there. Later they went to Papua New Guinea and did the same thing there."

He looked so weak in the bed; his faint smile from past his 80's was the impression.

That Clown Workshop I missed

Clowning incoherence as therapy. That was the stuff; found it pointless with pragmatic, hustling illusions, yet this one. The Protestant work ethic bug had caught me.

Felt like I was wasting my time, yet I wasn't.

Regretful I am, trying to act like an entertainer. Plenty of missed opportunities to the theatre; I got a note that they missed me.

Darn it.

Yet this one felt special, and with that. From the midlands.

Surgery check up of Hernia

Please let this placebo by quick, and this surgery be graceful.

So many writers, so many words and concepts I'm catalouging.

With having to push up a lump up into my gut from it slipping out, Could it have started with a deadlift? I don't think so, regardless, it happened with.

Pulled an oddly wet sponge right up the belly, even the truss can't be contained. 

Pulled it up and wiggled it from the bathroom floor.

From the sofa, in the covers.

On a yoga mat.

Outside of a inner flat with cold air of a tugging of a vital artery I had to maneuver.

Bunch of tubes into a tight space, then i pull one out.

Then with a pop in, the pop back in.

It wiggles back. More than 50, lost count of the chronic conditions.

It's like a octopus that slouches out of a snake with and it does not come back up.

Here's wishing for a swift surgery.

Or why be polemical? (or have opinions to government)

The spectacle slips

• Due to masks slipping and my respect for talent slipping. Better to work with easy-to-work with peers rather than a insufferable talent
• Since obedience to exploitative schedules is a liberal hustle culture lie shared with the Protestant work ethic of the past.
• Since if I don't campaign and advocate for myself, then I can't complain.
• Since I can't control the crowd, yet I can see the celebrity and catechisms that lead it.
• The entertainment suspension of polemics is itself a radical act, even if it's indie industry.
• To not be groomed into traps.
• "Someone withholding information dreams to be your master." Quote from Sid Meier's Alpha Centaur (that's a bonus, I don't play games anymore.)
• Pagliccu syndrome, or comics unable to able act like hide there clownery
  
• Stalking horses masquerading as entertainment
• Because it's fun, even if I scream from a paytoilet

Another grandad visit

Mind was full of dogwhistles. To find honesty within government matters Is a mental toil. Yet I take my energy from trying to console Grandad in his late days.

These times I want to be young and carefree with the childish flying. So I have to make something that ain't Junuphobia.

Talks of beep boop, Grandad. My exposé on the Disney exposé went ignored. There goes my polemics, down in non-newsworthiness. Ruthlessness does not count as the spectacle self-implodes and sells spectator tickets with its frumpy enforcement.

Disney, with its lapdogs, the embarrassing performances of unintentionality. Obsessing about it now as they deliver blockbusters mystifies the iconoclast within me.

So, hospital bed and smartphone photo sharing with filters and how normalised it's become.

Sigh. Apart from the denialists, or miserablist enforcement, still alive. The ai issue is with my trying to remain a freak away from the hypemonger.

I've yet to read a giant back catalogue that makes me snobby with video games. Time was on my mind, yet so was A Confederacy of Dunces.

Enough of the self-important news made a spectacle. Slap of pain out. Cheddar cheese lunch sandwich.

His consciousness is there, barely registering as I explain my project too. Not sure how this licentious youth I have left contrasts with the stoic, frail tradition left to reconstruct into fiction. What a word! It's normalised. Glad age puts another in a state of mind. I'm silly and occupied with my own domination of 230 of a bill of anti-trust which I'm doing.

Bohemian flirts

Play around.

In the park.

With my mates.

Fireplace.

Cardboard queen burns.

Dancing pagan mask.

The tent of 20s air.

Crick crick crick.

Sapiosexual/Demisexual

Cognition and Emotional.

Logos and Eros.

Expression of Philosophy/intellectual cogency and the emotional bonding of intuitions.

Such is a manner of identifying with the continuing expansion of the taxonomy of sexual attractions towards understanding the performance of self.

With that, that merely shows that with the commodifying of community and queer theory with the expression with of ones own sexual identity is a manner of understanding if any of these labels serve, I'm lurking again within more of the ethics of substack, and it's a matter of time to understand new ways to talk with others.

There are a lot of images, either generated or and I'm getting less phased to condemn or endorse, it simply exists.

Thanks queer theorists, thanks non-elitist philosophers. They still keep asking questions and non-questions. Until I go back to work.

Here's a really cussy edutainment piece, with functional philosophy definitions btw, relinking it.

New Year, Self update and thoughts with Grandad. (Bonus Fave 3s)

Still taking pics of myself, with seeing if I can get a hernia treatment

He's alright, he's resting well with physical treatment doing well. Can't complain with the amount of chocolate that's come in with the off-brand oreo cookies. All part of the life of the Petit boug.

Darn, even unimportant. Feel less hustled than playing the latest video games to game social media

Wow, what's this?

Favourite Youtube Essays bonus!

1. Alexander Aviles : How Corporations hijacked the Anti Ai Backlash 

2. Fd Signifiers : Sinners and the Death of Black Art
3. (Challenger of another view) Peter's Coffin on Bomberguy - On elitism

Fav Podcast

1. Structuralism & Marxism (feat. Nicolas Villarreal) Emanicipation podcast

2. Neitzhe and the left Emancipation Podcast

3  Why Scientists Can't Rebuild a Polaroid Camera [César Hidalgo]

 Fav Substack essays

1. Knifestack: The death of the copywriter

2. Andy Masley : The Ai water issue is Fake

3. Devon Halliday : My Literary Fiction is more literary Than Yours

Fave Edutainment

1. CJ to the X : That Time Disney Ruined Kiki's Delivery Service

2. Flazefire : Twitter Artists (and why they're hated)

3. Corridor Crew : I turned my friends into living Toys

The land of no boundaries of business guru maxims

 This vision were all the matter. 

With mass advertiser. Goes into the hustle trance.

The way of the machine zone of playing an eternal economy game of physical pleasure/pain, all the complexities between. With the emotional ways and emotional states, compared to the physical states.

Then I'm trying to clamber for an extension, then I'm not, getting substack posts via business gurus, are well, people who happen to keep working, it's all the advice of people who keep workings

How is the motivation doing, self-industry complex? Any benefit? You don't have to follow any of this advice if you don't have a problem. They are nebulously reaching for better within the void of extrajudicial lands.

Thanks, I guess, then there's that phrase in snarl quotes.

Personal brand, not caring about strangers. Guess that's the confirmation a publisher does using the legal fiction. With what a publisher does after all the labour is all collected, his personal value judgement is there.

I can't blame that kind of mindset, if he's running an independent, giving free advice if it does not work or not.

At least you're not selling anything, bud! Well, bought into this.
Took your test on your blog.

Such entertainment 🛋️💭

There you go, into the sunk cost of getting a book deal (or not) I know you're trying to help. With words of authenticity cropping up again (Illusionist entertainers aren't), then it's the reason this will go.

Where will you stop with the how-to roulette? Reverse engineer.

Well, continue on with your generalities.

(You could consider pablum, what do you think?)

This one's fascinating though, creator economy he's coined? Idk, this may be what publishers give a sunk cost to creatives (Petit boug) Who happen to build their labour of signals of distribution.

Have some more, Philosophy wannabe. Signalling is talking about semiotics? I'm still reading that Umberto eco book with all the academic reading.

He's a slow-down kind of man, I'm a stay-in-sync-with-yourself-man

Solving problems? I like to give my characters problems.

Well good sir, good going on a sunk cost. 🛋️👍 Like I am.

"Stay Sovereign" Was the email.

The internal theater of angry visions

Fuming. It happens, its ephemeral, only in an instance of any newsworthiness  buzzwordiness of each celebrity passing.

That impression.

Obsession and pretension over porn interests while keeping NSFW porn intake under wraps. Then they return to the popularity contest. Macro scale, impossible to control.

Pretend is to claim/demand etymological, everybody's a critic, everybody's a reply man.

Oh, How I desperately need to curate it all, How I need responsibility.

So my algorithm ( ha ha, they say there's none, fire hose is an algorithm ) bubbles and filter.

Thanks workplace. Time to self-regulate again.

Holiday of convention convenience. Or on the arc of justice.

I hope Grandad gets the card.

Look at all those presents and pleasantries. I need family, actual family. Not a family that's found, or showing up, well. There's a book for that now, so many specificity I can get to.

Happy Holidays!