Non-Powerscaling

Back when with concept artist was thing of entertainment industry activity. Dynasour ( will take these down on request.)

"the average internet user views art as such a linear, non exploratory process which can only “improve” or “regress”, like it’s a little skill meter from their video games. Really a shame

I’d like to blame the language a lot of the “first” art instructors and voices used that internet-age artists came across. Concept artists, guys two or three deviations away from gnomon DVDs that worked on making alien guns for Halo or something"

The concept as been a means of drawing attention, and it's now become an industry complex. Something along the success with all that to matter. With all trying to find to magic wand.

Conceptart.org, that where a time was there. It was publisher bait, and it was like a corporate gym in the flavour of its business. It's a race to the bottom to be selected for an industry gig, which was it's high status.

So to be selected there's something to be jumped though, it sold its courses, and it did not teach much other than to be churned.

Elwell moved on and was only the good teachers there. It's all gone now.

Grandads Retirement Blues

Foggy memories become clear, then back again.

They're talking about a somebody's sexual expression, like it's repulsive, Am I that sort of thing? That, with my own desire to reach into a freaky dimension. Or not, it's a Freudian desire of object philia. It's bizarre that'd 

Thoughts go-

The now passed Granny that went with the motions, then it went home again. There was a machine of entertainment within the back. I can't even serve it well as i happened past my family photos.

All a physical record, left to a network that allows me to be silly online.

Grandad needs tp sleep after the fish and chips he ordered. He's consoled with the presents, as my brother is interested in my gpp work.

It was a terminally
offline day, minimal engagement. Still a stream with a failed graphics card update.

Why do I keep going there? To twitch? Addicting me to gamers. Addicting me to performative affiliation, and to popular IPs I've seen way too much of.

"Everybody dies" Was the thing he tels, and is prepared for.

Theres a call every day, he's doing okay.

Lil Scrappy

Lil Scrappy

The doll that happened during the time within the hospital of my youth, thinking back, it was a little frail thing that could be ripped with the slightest of pulls, I have to treat it with a fair care.

Already it landed itself to a time that lead of a circular brown staircase where I held it. Between wood and old-lady home. Wooden staircases of an antique variety fill the young nostrils as the time of a ancient time is brought.

Kid back then with entertainment is given is taken, a special thing. It's not like I'm learning the hoops to jump through with today. The industry, what we do today. At least there is the art. Then there is the commodified slop.

I know too much, and that Lil'Scrappy knows too much too. From Five years old, it goes on. Those memories now fragments.

They still haunt

I see those artists who create, who have works that will never see the life of day. Who calls to be carried over to the next, to be made into something that is articulated into artifices.

Crazy as it may sound, of the creeping edge of the deaths who I missed, yet they didn't miss, they minds went out quicker, yet the made more and more art to the point. Artists that did not last from the prosumer dystopias, along with the rented-mule work schedules. They transcended.

The made a mark, not a market, at the place a moment without commercial value, or a bit. Exhibiting the mastery of the craft regardless, bringing the story of the craftsman towards the point of what we may call art, with its own restrictions.

Don't ever expect a gravy train for an artist.

Naturalistic Atheism

As I sustain with my remaining capital, Naturalism will be the remaining philosophy, that's what will come to me. It can be contingent towards thesis belief, yet I'm grouping it together.

Reasons are not science, it's philosophy. Yet there all can be a trickster pulling a silly little trick. I cannot be absolute certain that it's all simulated in our brains. With the verification principle of logical positivism and money not serving its purposes either, especially for my money.

All the SEO adult entertainment roulette. I've described the behaviour of people reaching out there, all axiological arguments leading in towards a centre.

I can only see it and know to know be the toy/the product, figuring out what to post next day through the focus of the next thought. It's the romanticism of a destiny that leads me towards atheism. Is that the casui sui away of it all.

Even within a mad rebellion against fate, it's all an attempt for humanity, to define oneself as with our own attempt. With no the attempt to define immortality from it, with a point of view. Then what's the point?

Since I've climbed out of classical thought with the atheist days, it's all settled within secular atheism that's at peace with theism, let those rituals happen with calm and meditation, people need their own rituals. As with mine as the holy choir with my art. We all create the culture we want to live in, so let's make it last.

Certainly with the neoclassical thought going away, I left when I could.

This quiet turn and bend, with each little step.

The fair visit

The fair ain't good, it's alright. Higher prices, I'm doing the visit though as there are scrunchies and a cat charity I donated for them. Scrunchies are life for the next effort.

A will forever mis this artist's contribution, it's local love with the distribution of a gratitude cactus. He taught me well.

Despite my parent's joke of him not being paid much, Still made an impact. Those things that matter though.

i walked under a ladder, now it must become inspiration p**n

This is going to be journal level, not Memoir level.

Two construction workers were having a ball, and I was walking my way back to the gym, and it's another day under the belt as it's made. I'm trying to run out of my gym-bro addiction by turning my two hours into an hour with fewer sets and more of a minimal routine, today was not that day though.

I had to walk under, they were hogging the mid-road as I stepped up the orange wires.

I'm reminded of obnoxious Gary Vee, on a podcast that's been led with a cult-of-personality, with various PR working on his name on the podcast of the Spotify, recommended to me. Well Couchy, I'm out of the nest! Please, no, I'm going to not need any guidance when there's this silly hustle-culture bustle, at least Seth was not that bade with such mundane advice, however commodified it was.

Not paying his workers for overtime, tsk tsk.

Then he's deleted.

Wow, if this moment that I walked under the ladder now I'm responsible to inspire for the sake of inspiration. Inspire! Burn the candle at both ends! Now! Spectacle.

no.

I looked up silly superstitions now I spat on my shoe to disspell the symbolic burden of my shoe, dispelling the superstition.

Am I being too political?

First, It's my blog, I can write what I want.

Second, it's my opinion, one can have it, right? That makes me a post-modern.

Everything getting syncretic, even commodified entertainment is becoming to conflicted since drawing lines in the sand is what brings attention, anything for it. For better or worse.

So then, the time when our ways, is the saying by Socrates, that politics is the highest art form true? Well, if the motivation is true, no betrayal and not done right. I'll forewarn and foreshadow any conflict, my position will be revealed and that's the price to pay if it's going to happen. Somebody will be contrarian to my image.

Why am I drawing and doubting lines around a fig-leaf though?

Latern parade againso

 It is damp, reading a burnout book while there will be a parade. They will be a coffee back van, now they will be potatoes.

There wasn't any potatoes. Merely a crumb of a chocolate flapjack, chicken strips from a takeaway. It was still a good run though.

Fwog

What a humble way of things to be reminded of, with the car and the blaring mix board of the radio going on. Vary the amount o bustle within the two hours and the moment in the takeaway, without the potatoes, was enough. Brought my memories back to five.

Most memoirs are merely journals, this is a journal of a happy moment and tradition of a that's bringing culture into a town with the marching band drums that shake my ears.

These multitudes of lights are points of illumination that bring us together. They said thanks for the cheer.

Sexual sentimentality? Prurient Paradox's, shouldn't be so

 Why am I so harsh to sex work and pin-ups? Because I do believe that they can get better. That's why, maybe this love-hate relationship is because of my passion of it? It's certainly a matter of thing to explore a true self with all the lack of intimacy that means I'm doing to best to express myself.

It's all self-expression, If it's legal it's fine. Criminalization and other talks are to be another matter, including ABDL which is another matter entirely. Kinks are kinks, and the entire primal and elevated desires are to be expressed.

All it's into the rote expression of the industry as the whole, in terms of work being either what is a prostitute and what is sex work. Things are going to be addressed more maturely? Right? Even those that are drunk on SEO with the sex work must be doing it for a really, long, long time. Running with there business models that they may not take for granted.

Despite my criticism with the lack of labelling, it's simply not for me.

I can't handle the sex scene irrationality, it's ultimately unprofessional as a storyteller, and it's spectrum of genres that is meant as a device to serve others. Without writing, it's merely short-lived.

All industry complexes have their hustle culture, radical evils. What are you going to do with the clerks and merchants.

Inktober/DrawTober Thoughts

Merely relaxing into the rhythm of doing work for me. Already did,

It's yet another trend where a stream of attention for people to pay attention to and to grow a following.

Everybody, what a stream of attention to grow a following towards solvency. I can afford to, with all the amount.

Even when the guy who stated cleared the copyright for the makers to sell their work, It's clear there's social capital involved to help capitalise on the streams of attention again. It's to show a little spot where the SEO lays, and that's it.

You are the product to advertisement product, and the attention economy is ontologically inseparable to the conversion advertisement these platforms support, with the prosumerism intertwined with its structure.

With the reporting on this, Mary Sue seems to do honest reporting. Oh boy, another copyright troll. Of course, into the antipathy brand which has mixed antipathy as a legal concept within legalese. I have mixed feelings of it being a useful fiction.

@KrossKritical

 Posted this meme in reply. Aaaah 🛋️💤

These short-term RFPs for internet traction will always exist, for the long termers who want to be sought out by name, they will always have to ignore it. I forget everybody is in the hunt for the newcomers, and it's target audience.

We are not 100% pure when it comes to these trends, either go in for the self, or the generosity of others. I'll most likely going back into the art-fights, due to the fun'n beauty. Yet self-sustainability is more important than from self-exploitation.

If I contradict myself, only if it's important.

It's a tactic, made to get hold of an audience's attention within these social media sites, it ain't for those who could afford strategy.

Most cynical to Least cynical

 It's time to inverse the cynicism into optimism, then back into ambivalence.

Cyncism is all merely and reaction, it's to think of times of least cynical to things to respond in balance, towards and back again. It's always nice to compare to times of sympathy with the contempt to see which states are happening.

Most Cynical :

When the race to the bottom included lying to lifestyles and sleeping schedules to the best of all that meant. All to heighten up the SEO and click-through rate.

I touched this on Rachel Hollis.

10:30-19:30 On it, Corrupt freelancers and educational institutions teach physically impossible sleep schedules that will burn out creatives to help stop the competition outside the system which they operate in.

They really are underground, under-the-radar methods advice of burning the candle in both ends advice that's constantly remade and sold to a new generation, made to burn dreams before they ever appear. Indie teaching institutions do it all the time now, not that I'd name them.

To be treated like a rented mule, then made to believe that it's rented mule's fault is a special place in dystopia for them. Treating time like a shortcut, and not as a tool. I don't think others with my cognitive disability should listen to such stuff as inspiration porn.

What is now direct-response bait for the developers of high data, Influencers who are now called content makers, to the slop meta. Oh well, it's going to be cool-hunted by the flawed business models. 🎰 Commercialism shall be the matrix of the casino for days to come. (Which is why a appreciate subscription models now ) 

Least cynical 2: Seths blogs post on developing financial independence. Already covered it. Here's a marketer ( or, he calls himself a teacher ) that actually gave wise guidance. When how Eric Helms stated how short-term education was his goal as a trainer, and that those trainers who does not let the students out-grow them are like mushroom farmers (Like Geoffrey Verity Schofield) Feed C*** and keep them in the dark.

"1. Don't pay anyone for simple and proven instructions on how to achieve this goal. In particular, don't pay anyone to teach you how to write or sell manuals or ebooks about how to make money online."

Probably he's post on advanced Meta post, this categorized self-help guru that may have mad errors, including the lizard brain, recommending bad books. Still selling courses and others. A b-corp, Something like a Gabe Newel. Welp, I'm a freelancer, so I know what to expect.

Self-help Gurus, good or bad. Certainly teach the limits of the casuai sui. Of ultimate responsibility.

Well, Including AC-bu success being a unique internet thing with a means to formalist philosophy guiding its culture. There's as much as inspiration to respond to as much as expiration.

Sui generis of such a poet.

It's nice to contradict ones own cynicism.

Bonus video of 10 min on luck, the stuff that's not contingent of self matters within this industry and the hustle-culture business guru stuff. This advice does not sell one on the casus sui.

Forced to post, amidst the literary agent.

Look what I'm doing, avoiding a literary agent to pursue a non-profit career in public space.

Well, it's always there, got a blog post. I don't necessarily believe the agents are bad at finding opportunities, merely a neutral. Of course, they are meant to be made the whole place. If it's a backlog of plans on my mind.

If this traction is never going to work, at least I'd own the means of distribution and the attention to my place has been in a nice place.

Sometimes gentle thoughts of a civilisation that the ability to own the a little private sector of the net is nice enough.

Loneliness with ad-creep\ loneliness without it.

Of all these platforms, not assimilating with the ad-creep of these ad-supported platforms have been a gentle thing.

It's nice to know that my monetized all of this becomes with the veneer, low-effort and derivative content meant for a passive audience. Desiring to be in sync is designed.

It's a comforting thought, once that's the area there's a lack of pressure when it free to make mistakes, within the other that is twitch, I feel like i'm in the dome where the impressions are more valuable. I can't digress into political subject and then force a cone of work into my work.

Well, yet that is.

The ad-creep feels like there's more of a hollowing of self to fit into a mould for advertisers, that's inevitable. I know if I focus on any self-development, I'm going to be punished with not following a meta. Well, there are those who do honestly follow it while trying to maintain a point-of-view, it's a bit blurred.

Ah, ad-creep, into the personal and private lives, that's going to have to be a thing I'm going to get used to.

Discipline =/= Workerism/grindset

To reflect on something on x which I should not be spending time on. Unfortunately, my memory is able to reconfigure this thought into something whole.

Ah, discipline.

It's what professional and hobbies.

Not what fully-automated utopias are made for. That's another idea here nothing.

Mindless discipline and craft is what hacks are made of, Mindful discipline is where the last two reside. This is the push of self-help, and it's inner benefit, because there is no opportunity when working with oneself.

The concept of self, it's rather nice with meaning.

Grandparent Funeral

(Update) This quote by Stephanie Sterling about what creeps with handling and understanding chronic pain, stuff that's affecting us all like this situation.

She ain't perfect, nobody is. The quote resonates though.

I did not see the body, by the way. I did feel her.

I'm supposed to be building a platform, forced to compete or cooperate.

I'm supposed to be writing a point of view or service.

I'm supposed to make a single number go up. The for the commercial to swoop with that dream contract for a studio licence of a golden opportunity, (That I don't think I'll be able to see, along with 95% of revenue.)

Yeah, that suppose is the advertising portrayed by advertising platforms, indirectly promising virality.

That's the content producer path. The Barbie couch path.

I know it doesn't matter since I'm going to the self-publish route. When it comes to the commercial publisher, it does matter. So into the slush pile it goes. That's all the copywriting/taxonomy that I'm supposed to separate now. It's time to wear black and forgot my entire professional/career aspiration of my hobby. 

Or perma-hobby, not like a want a lucky break with this. To reflect on non-optimised monetary prospects has all been a distraction. Oh, It is all but a dream. Thanks, I'll blame social media for making me think that. 🛋👉📴 This is a confession that will never happen. It's all a commercial mirage that haunt subconscious depths within the user interface design that ain't there.

I don't know whether to slather it in placebo or nocebo, It's frankly embarrassing why I believe it. It's a delusion.

Anatta, Non-self in the pursuit of creative work.

When to first discovery of the self, there are uncovering of many selves, the private self with two external personal and social. Then the hidden self that is unconsciousness with the desires.

Then there's the non-self, one of meditation.

Anatta

There's a scene where a man shoves a banana in his mouth, and I'm reminded of that scene. Krapps last tape. Yep, that last tape, The main character did it despite the advice of his physician.

Sometime, inertia within it's infinite complexity and contradiction, will impede the mise-en-place. That's why it's so important to recognize the shapeshifter within. Self dramatization that cannot happen to the moment, since the work is the embodiment of what proceeds onward.

There's a workism, apparently. Oh dear, that school of thought really has meant to differentiate hobby work with Professional work, and it's its own matter. Going to contradict my own work-ethic now with emerging theories to the point of yet another complexity.

What if identity was getting into the way of the eudaemonia, of a life-welled lived?

Apparently, a well lived life is within working in front of a digital tablet of making a fictional world where magic could happen. Without interruption, that is what business is now, I don't know what else.

Why wait in a meeting for a prospective boyfriend when that relies on luck?

The hack does not have any of these concepts, they only care about what counts, as cheaply and as fastly as possible.

Grandparent Passing

This chibi picture of a deathbed is the only thing I can summon.

"Granny's passed. If you want to talk, I'll be here."

I kind of saw it for two years passing. When you do an entertainment commitment, physical cogs don't stop moving, only the moment.

Some of her last words are that we all have to make the most of it, well, they're the symbolic myth that life carries on after death.

Today I have to take a heavy brunt of a loss that's made it into today, a grandparent has passed as price to pay of living on the physical world that we call earth. As of yesterday, one family member had to go to the hospital due to her health problems, then she was barely conscious.

I took the advice of preparation well, I cannot panic now because it's all gone, where do I handle it, I was not designed to panic.

The breath of life goes, freeing from the self an emptier version to be filled, and it is never coming back again.

It's gone, gone, gone. Kind of the point. With articulations of what is left.

All those sweet watercolours and gifts are made more delicate.

That's what happens, I'll be needing time to grieve for now and carry on my work of my cartooning ambitions. If they are never to be made through.

Thanks for the hug, along with the peace of the line.

"Thanks, make the most of the time you have left."

This was the last watercolour she'd done. Thanks.